Thursday, February 12, 2009

To my first boy...

The next three posts will be letters to my children, starting with Ben. May you find insight into their souls through these posts.

Dearest Ben,
I praise God for you! Your sweet disposition is only surpassed by your amazing smile. The last few weeks with you have been amazing - we've been able to see a side of you that we do not see often. You have laughed at and with Levi for the last 3 weeks. It has been fun to see what you would do to spark a smile or get a laugh from your baby brother. You have risen to the task of welcoming a baby brother so beautifully. You may have caught me with tears in my eyes on more than one occasion, as I watch you grow up right in front of me. I've said this to you before, but I would have been honored to be your little brother or sister. You are such a sweet, kind-hearted brother. Ella & Levi are very, very blessed to have you. You are big in every way to them.

I've enjoyed reminiscing about "when you were a baby" as we watch Levi conquer new milestones. Levi reminds me so much of you in so many ways and I enjoy watching him as much as I watched you when you were little. You even have offered up your baby shoes for him when he takes his first steps! That is just the kind of brother you are. I want you to keep those shoes for you, to remind you that I will never forget those first steps, those first words, or that first smile. You are my firstborn, my oldest son, and I love you more than words can say.

I'm in awe of the young man you are becoming and I am praying that God would help you continue to love what's right - that he would protect you and help me to be the best mom I can be to you. I pray that he will fill in the gaps - as there are so many to fill. Daddy and I are far from perfect, so much so that sometimes it hurts me to think of how many times I've lost my patience with you or yelled at you. Many times, your only grievance was being just a child. You are so mature beyond your years that sometimes I forget.

Thank you for welcoming Levi into our family...for putting up with having to keep your legos up high, for sleeping right through the night time crying, for making funny noises and funny faces that keeps us all laughing, and for giving him sweet nighttime kisses as he falls asleep. You are a treasure to me and I love you so very, very much.

All my devotion,

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